Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order (Rated TEEN) (PC, PS4, Xbox One)
Nearly six years after EA acquired the license to develop Star Wars games, we've had a handful of invasively monetized mobile games, and two mediocre and controversially monetized Battlefront titles. Now, we have hope, we finally have a single-player, non-monetized, story-driven Star Wars game, Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order is pretty much the game we all wanted from the onset of EA buying the rights to the franchise. Way to go EA, it only took six years and a ton of pissed off fans to get it right, perhaps you could share notes with Disney, since only you two geniuses could take one of the most profitable franchises in history, and lose money with it, really, the effort it must take to fuck something up this badly, that should have been a sure thing. But, maybe I am being too harsh, Jedi Fallen Order and The Mandalorian prove that Star Wars is not hopeless, I also can't fault the quality of the film Rogue One, or the animated show Rebels, still, its been hard out here, for a Star Wars pimp.
Jedi Fallen Order is kinda like the girl next door, we've all been admiring her, we've all been waiting for our turn with her, but, now that the moment of truth is here, I'm sure we're all kinda nervous. I'm sure a lot of you heard the rumors, you know, that she was going to be as bitchy as that other babe Dark Souls, as a matter of fact, it seems that these babes not only know each other, they're family. That does explain why they're so refined, but, it also puts them on a pedestal.
Now, I was never able to seduce Dark Souls, I tried, and tried, and even went after her sister Bloodborne, but, they both just laughed at me, so I realized as sexy and as much fun as they were going to be, they were for sure, out of my league. Which is why I got worried hearing about their cousin Jedi Fallen Order, here was this fox who was exactly the kinda hottie I was craving, I mean she was going to be a full-on Jedi experience, with a pretty wild focus on the cinematic and story-driven positions, and it's been a while since I found a freak like that. But, what if she was just as frigid as her cousins? What if this was another one of those girls who would flaunt all that hot, steamy action in front of us, only to laugh in our face when we tried to make our move?
Thankfully, this babe can be pretty easy depending on how you play her, oh, she'll give you plenty of challenge if you want her to, but, if you just want a nice, fun ride, she'll be happy to oblige. Now that I have offended all the right people, let's get down and dirty with the details. Jedi Fallen Order is the tale of Cal Kestis, a Padawan who survived the execution of Order 66 and after spending a few years in hiding, is now on the run from the Empire and their Jedi hunters known as the Inquisitors. The story starts with a bang and immediately invests the player in a story of loss, isolation, and redemption, which doesn't always hit the same captivating notes as the game's brilliant opening, but it has more than a few compelling surprises up its sleeve.
The story may not be as strong with the force as we expected, but, while the story may lack a compelling and unique narrative, it more than makes up for those shortcomings with a fantastic cast of characters, that feel like they've always belonged in Star Wars. Cal is extremely likable, and while his story is cliched, it is easy to enjoy the ride we take with him, due to just how charming and expressive he can be. Honestly though, after Starkiller from The Force Unleashed, the bar for a compelling and likable lead Jedi was not very high, thankfully Cal bent the bar, and his little droid BD-1 broke the damn thing right off.
The rest of the cast is pretty solid, the performances are all of an extremely high quality, but, the writing and in particular the dialogue for some of these characters can be lacking at times. The game's plot will also feel slightly underwhelming, as it teases a lot of really compelling material, but tends to stick with tried and true tropes, instead of swinging for the fences. Thankfully, the story's execution, production values, and gleeful passion and enthusiasm for the source material ensures that while the story could have been better, it is often so enjoyable that you won't notice until long after the ride has come to a slightly anticlimactic close.
As I mentioned earlier, I am not a fan of Dark Souls styled games, I'm sorry, I know many of you love those things, but, I am just not that masochistic. I am not one of these gamers who says, if you play on anything less than "pull your hair out and smash the fucking controller" difficulty, you're dead to me. I play games for fun, while I don't mind a fair challenge, and I do enjoy persevering through uncertain odds, I also do not like the thing that I play for fun, to require me to get good to have that fun. I understand the appeal of being tied down by a sexy woman, and having her go to town with a whip, cane, strap on and even a cattle prod, but, that is for sure, not my idea of a good time. I understand the mindset behind that kind of enjoyment, and I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with it, what I am saying, is that those kinds of things are not my bag baby. I mean, if she brought the vaseline, blindfold, rubber ducky and her riding crop, then maybe we could talk about having some fun.
Jedi Fallen Order is the kind of fun I was not expecting, it has the same kind of refined, precision and timing-based combat as Dark Souls, but, depending on the difficulty setting you pick, the game will either be as unforgiving as your first love, or as easy as that slut you met during The Gathering Of The Juggalos. I played on the Story setting, which meant I took very little damage, even during boss fights, so instead of the game being frustrating and unforgiving, I got to enjoy every single second of the game's brilliant combat, which actually allowed me to enjoy the process of getting good. I have always loved the style of combat that Dark Souls perfected, but, I never enjoyed the lack of accessibility to those games, now I get that kind of impactful and more tactical melee combat, that is just as challenging, but also more forgiving and far less frustrating, think of it as Kiddie Souls. The game's difficulty also only comes from its combat, that is not to say the platforming or puzzle sections lack challenge, but, if you fall off a platform, you lose no life and are brought back to the start of that sequence until you overcome it, and the puzzles are fairly straightforward, although they can be very satisfying and highly enjoyable. You will spend nearly an equal portion of time, exploring the various planets you venture to, traversing death-defying platforms, and solving a ton of puzzles using your force powers, of course, you will spend the other portion of your time locked in some extremely intense and enjoyable combat action.
Lightsaber combat has never felt this good, even with dismemberment being somewhat omitted, combat is still hard-hitting, satisfying and highly visceral. Dismemberment is also not totally omitted, while you cannot cut up Stormtroopers left and right, you can slice and dice monsters and robots, which never gets old, on top of that, you can dismember certain human characters during boss fights, although these are story-driven moments that are not based on player choices. Jedi Fallen Order has three clear influences, Dark Souls for its combat, Uncharted for its narrative and platforming elements, and finally, The Legend Of Zelda for its puzzles and focus on exploration. It does take its basic foundation from the Metroidvania genre, so expect plenty of backtracking and item-based progression, which is also where the game gets some of its challenge. Exploring each planet, hell, even finding the location of your main objectives, is a challenge in of itself, thankfully, there is something highly addictive and incredibly satisfying, about exploring the world and finding your way through it. The game does have its fair share of influences, but, it somehow comes out on the other side feeling like more than the sum of its varied parts.
In the end, I found all those nerves I had about spending some alone time with this fine ass game, was due to the bad experiences I've had with my abusive relationship with EA, and all those times Dark Souls and Bloodborne laughed at me. EA has a lot of work to do before the wedding is on again, but giving me the perfect Jedi experience next only to Knights Of The Old Republic, will go a long way in repairing the broken dynamic. I am not too prideful to tell them that they have reminded me why I fell in love with them, to begin with, they used to make all my favorite story-driven licensed experiences, I remember a time when they made the best Bond and Lord Of The Rings games to ever hit the market, and I am glad that those days could be coming back. I cannot remember the last time an EA game made me squeal like a little boy who has yet to go through puberty, when I started building my lightsaber in Jedi Fallen Order, I squealed so gleefully, that you would probably question my sexuality like the judgmental prick that you are.
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